Lucy and I share the fact that we both have had a parent staying in a residential home for the elderly; My Dad spent the last 3 years of his life in a home in Alnwick; Lucy's mum spent time in homes and hospitals before she passed away.
It was Lucy that suggested we approach some residential homes with a view to performing and encouraging folk to dance with us. So far, we have one regular appointment and several homes have booked us as a one-off.
Every appointment is different, of course, new faces, always a few lively characters; the feeling, the smell of the places is always the same though, no matter how friendly and caring the staff, each place transports me back to visiting my dad. There are the souls who are earthed by physical frailties and those whose realities are different from ours. I struggle to even look sometimes; a thin, thin ankle peeking from a blanket; a bent spine, faraway gaze. I wonder what the perceive; these two brightly-coloured, spinning ladies who bare their bellies and make so much noise.
We have a format and change routines and music, do a little talk and encourage audience participation. This does give us the opportunity to practice and perform together, because making time to do this was often hard to justify, (cue: mother guilt, etc.)
It may not be the most glamorous of engagements for a belly dancer, but the goddess has a crone aspect, after all.
My great challenge is opening up to people who don't appear to act under normal social constraints; folk who have been diagnosed with dementia, who might do or say someting unexpected; I experience fear, want to keep a distance when I'm approached.
Lucy is very good at chatting to the audience- I can do the formal stuff; Lucy remembers names and asks questions, gives her attention freely.
So many of our old folk are shut away. we-they believe they are of no more use and have the least resources spent on them, even though their contribution to the world put us where we are now. There is something to be learned from this- have ambition, have optimism and have hope for old age. I would like choices; fun, love, happiness, more dancing.